The Difference Between Self-Care and Self-Indulgence
Satya RobynBURSTOUT CONTRIBUTOR
Buddhist priest running a temple in Malvern, novelist, psychotherapist, foolish being. Likes purring, growing runner
beans, goldfinches, vegan cake, the sound of rain.
I’ve never been very good at self-care. My tendency is to make myself safe by making sure other people are okay, and so I often neglect to factor in my own needs.
When I do try to look after myself, I often end up eating too much cake or watching too much television and feeling slightly sick, spaced out or hung over.
Recently I’ve been pondering the difference between self-care and self-indulgence. I think that when I feel over-tired or overwhelmed, I try and reach out for self-care but instead grab onto self-indulgence. These activities bring me instant comfort but also anaesthetise me, helping me to continue avoiding the things that got me into a mess in the first place.
When I am able to choose differently and write in my journal or go on a walk or sit and look at the sky for a while, I often feel worse before I feel better. If I keep going, sticking with the uncomfortable bits, by the end of the day or week I feel replenished rather than zonked.
Self-care doesn’t always feel good to start with. But it never leads to a hangover. And it always turns us back towards the light.
What do you do tend to reach for when you feel depleted? Which of these things anaesthetise you and which nourish you? How can you get better at self-care?
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