Poet Profile: Jeseca Robin Lowell
I started writing when I was ten years old. I can still recite the very first poem that I ever wrote, still have the very first journal where my hand met paper. I started writing because I was a lonely kid. It was a time in my life where I felt like I did not have many friends. I was the third child out of four and often left in the background. Writing became a way for me to express my feelings in a safe environment where I did not feel like I was being judged.
Throughout the years, I developed my own style and tried different ways of expressing myself in words. I was an avid reader when I was younger. I often dissected the books I read to learn how to further the quality of my writing. As I grew into an adult, life happened. I was left again feeling very much alone. Writing again became that constant friend to me when I felt like I had no one else. It has been the best companion to me over the years, the most beautiful expression of who I was, who I am, who I will become. Becoming an author with published work, sustaining myself alone on my talent was a pipe dream, something that I kept with me but did not necessarily believe I could do. There was always something that held me back.
I had a child when I was young, a brilliant daughter that I raised on my own for the first seven years of her life. My priority obviously was providing for my child and writing just couldn’t pay the bills unfortunately. It wasn’t until two years ago, when I lost my father that I have been actively pursuing this dream. Since his death, I have published four books all available on Amazon.com. Since his death, I finally understood the potential he always saw in me but I was too frightened to acknowledge. My love for writing started as something so personal, something just for me but what I have realized over the years is that I love to watch my words inspire the people around me.
Included below is the poem Poetically Fitting, chosen because it is a great representation of not just my writing but of me as well. It is a poem from my second collection of Poetry, PIPE DREAMS. I am always extremely proud of the work I create but I especially am fond of this poem.
Poetically Fitting
I can't explain what pushes me forward,
What keeps me going when I should stop
But I know that I can't walk away when I should.
I would be wonderful at a million different things
And I would be horrible at a thousand more.
None of it would matter but I won't stop.
She needs to talk and he needs to cry
And I will always be the shoulder they lean
Because the idea of disappointing hurts too much, mocks too often.
I have no idea what keeps me trucking
When I feel like there is no point to it.
He needs my help and she needs my attention.
I will always put you first, always put you first
Even when I know I need a minute.
There are no complaints, no hesitations
Because I would rather you need me
Then forget me altogether.
There are parts about me that are too stubborn,
Parts about me that I wish I could let go.
Sometimes I look in the mirror
in complete unison with the skin I occupy
and in quieter times I struggle
but I won't ever give up, won't ever stop
because she needs a hug,
because he needs a kiss.
I can't tell you why after all these years
I still exist, still thrive, still push on
but I realize more every day the things I need,
the things I need lie in them all,
poetically fitting in this shoulder for you.
All my books are available on Amazon.com. Currently available for purchase:
Around the Bend: From Her to Me
Pocket Dreams (1st collection of poetry)
Pipe Dreams (2nd collection of poetry)
Elephant Dreams (3rd collection of poetry)
Website: Twistedaardvark.com
Facebook Page: www.facebook.com/twistedaardvark
Twitter: @twistedaardvark
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